There are a few things in life no one ever prepares you for.
The heartbreak of realizing your favourite TV show has been cancelled.
The existential crisis that is being asked, "What are your long-term goals?"in an interview.
The sheer horror of remembering your mother-in-law is visiting next weekend.
And then, there’s the job application process.
You’ve polished your CV until you can see your reflection in it. You’ve written a cover letter so compelling it deserves a spot in the Booker Prize shortlist. You’ve even managed to wear proper trousers during the Zoom interview.
And yet, despite your best efforts, sometimes you’re met with the dreaded rejection email—a cold, calculated missive that crushes your hopes with all the grace of a sumo wrestler in a ballet class.
But every so often, you receive a rejection letter so bizarre, so utterly nonsensical, that it almost makes you feel glad you didn’t get the job.
Almost.
Here are some of the strangest rejection emails employers have ever sent to candidates.
1. The One That Was Completely Honest
Most rejection emails try to cushion the blow with phrases like "We were impressed with your experience"or "It was a tough decision."
But one employer decided that honesty was the best policy, sending a candidate the following:
"Thank you for your application. We regret to inform you that we cannot offer you an interview at this time. Your CV did not stand out and we were frankly expecting more. Best of luck."
Ouch.
It’s brutal, but at least you know where you stand.
In a sea of mediocrity.
2. The One That Was Clearly Meant for Someone Else
Imagine opening a rejection email, only to find it addressed to a completely different applicant.
"Dear John, thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, we won’t be moving forward with your application. We had some concerns about your lack of experience in underwater basket weaving."
Well, unless you’re John and have a passion for soggy baskets, this is just plain confusing.
To make matters worse, it’s a reminder that you’re not even worthy of a personalised rejection.
3. The One That Tried (and Failed) to Be Funny
Humour in rejection emails is a risky game. Get it right and you might soften the blow. Get it wrong, and… well, it’s a disaster.
One candidate received this gem:
"We’re sorry to say you didn’t make the cut. But don’t worry, failure is just success in disguise! (At least, that’s what we’re telling ourselves.)"
Ah, nothing like invoking the sting of failure while simultaneously admitting your own shortcomings as a company.
Such comfort.
4. The One with the Unintentional Brutality
There’s something to be said for brevity, but this employer took it to another level:
"No."
That was it. One word.
I mean, sure, it’s efficient. But it’s so concise, it feels like a slap in the face.
Efficiency meets cruelty in perfect harmony.
5. The One with TMI (Too Much Information)
Sometimes, an employer decides to share a little too much about their decision-making process.
"Thank you for your application. We’ve decided to go with another candidate who brought in homemade cookies to the interview. They were delicious and won us over!"
Ah, nothing says "This job isn’t based on merit"like losing out to someone because of their baking skills.
Maybe next time, you’ll know to bake your way to success.
6. The One That Made Absolutely No Sense
We all know that sometimes emails can get lost in translation. But one employer took this to an art form:
"Dear Candidate, after careful consideration, we have decided to hire a squirrel. Thank you for your time."
Now, either this is an attempt at humour, or the forest critters have finally infiltrated our workplaces.
Either way, it’s a rejection email you won’t soon forget.
7. The One That Cited Bizarre Reasons
Some companies come up with truly unique reasons for rejecting a candidate:
"We regret to inform you that we will not be proceeding with your application. We couldn’t quite get past your love of pineapple on pizza. Best wishes!"
Ah yes, because culinary preferences are clearly the most important hiring criteria.
By the way, pineapple on pizza is a hill I will die on.
Need to Recruit Without the Nonsense?
If these tales of rejection emails have left you questioning what’s normal, it might be time to let someone else handle the hiring process.
At Coburg Banks, we’re experts in writing rejection emails that are professional, respectful, and free from mentions of squirrels or pizza wars.
So, if you’re looking to recruit without making your candidates lose hope in humanity, get in touch.
We promise not to send out any bizarre rejections on your behalf.
