We've all heard the saying, “Find a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
Which is a lovely sentiment, isn’t it?
Except it’s also complete and utter nonsense.
Because let’s face it, even in your dream job, there will be days when you’d rather be anywhere else than at your desk, listening to your colleague Dave talk about his latest fascination with fermented foods.
But that doesn’t stop people from fantasizing about the perfect role – the mythical unicorn of employment where the sun always shines, the coffee machine never breaks, and the boss isn’t a tyrannical maniac with a clipboard and a stopwatch.
And while we’re all for aiming high, there are some expectations that are so wildly optimistic, they make you wonder if certain job seekers have been living under a rock (a very cushy, delusion-filled rock).
Here, for your amusement, are some of the funniest ‘dream job’ expectations that recruiters have had the pleasure of encountering.
The ‘Work as Little as Possible’ Dream
Let’s start with the holy grail of job seeker fantasies: the dream of a job where you’re essentially paid to do nothing.
One candidate confidently declared to a recruiter:
"I’m looking for a role where I can maximize my income while minimizing my effort."
Ah, yes. Because who doesn’t wake up every morning thinking, “How can I contribute the least while earning the most?”
Another hopeful individual stated:
"Ideally, I’d like a position where I can work from home, but also not be required to do any work."
So basically, a job where you get paid for binge-watching Netflix and eating cereal in your pajamas.
Good luck with that.
The ‘World Traveller’ Dream
Then there’s the expectation that a dream job should come with all the perks of luxury travel, minus the actual need to do anything productive.
One memorable candidate asked:
"I’d love a job that involves traveling to exotic locations. But I don’t want to have any responsibilities while I’m there."
Right. Because companies are just lining up to pay people to lounge on a beach in Bali while sending postcards back to the office.
Another said:
"I’m looking for a job where I get to stay in five-star hotels and fly business class. Work? Oh, just a little bit here and there."
Ah, the jetsetter’s life, funded by a corporation with no financial oversight.
The ‘Animal Enthusiast’ Dream
Many people love animals, but few take that passion to the extreme when it comes to their job expectations.
One candidate informed a recruiter:
"I want a job where I work with animals. But not the gross ones, or the ones that bite. Maybe just the cute, fluffy ones."
So… a job as a full-time puppy cuddler?
Another hopeful soul said:
"I’d like to be paid to take care of celebrity pets. Particularly if they have their own Instagram accounts."
Because who wouldn’t want to be on the payroll of Fido the Influencer?
The ‘Creative Genius’ Dream
For some, the dream job is one that fulfills their desire to be seen as a creative visionary, despite having zero experience in the field.
One candidate boldly stated:
"I want a job where I can be the creative director of a major brand. I’ve never worked in marketing, but I think I have a knack for it."
Translation: I’ve watched every season of Mad Men and feel extremely qualified.
Another claimed:
"I’d like a job where I can just think up ideas, and then someone else does all the hard work."
So, an ideas person. In other words, a professional dreamer.
Need to Find Candidates with Realistic Expectations?
If reading this has given you a newfound appreciation for candidates who understand the concept of real work, we can help.
At Coburg Banks, we find candidates who not only have the skills you need but also have their feet firmly planted in reality.
So, if you’re tired of hearing about dream jobs that sound like fairy tales, get in touch.
We promise to connect you with candidates who understand that work might not always be a walk in the park, but it can certainly be meaningful and rewarding.
