There are many things in life we tend to avoid, often for good reason.
Like the instruction manual for your new flat-pack furniture - fully aware that it’s written in an obscure dialect of cryptic IKEA hieroglyphs. Or the nutritional information on your favourite guilty pleasure, lest it ruin the blissful ignorance that surrounds a late-night indulgence.
But nothing strikes more fear into the hearts of employees than the dreaded employee handbook.
A tome so long and monotonous that even the most caffeine-fuelled staff member would struggle to stay awake while leafing through its pages.
However, against all odds, some companies have managed to inject a dose of humour into these otherwise mind-numbing documents, proving once and for all that HR does, in fact, have a sense of humour.
So, in honour of the brave HR heroes who dared to make compliance funny, here are some of the most hilarious employee handbooks that have ever graced the workplace.
1. The One With the Dress Code That Actually Makes Sense
Dress codes are a contentious issue in many workplaces. Should you be able to wear jeans? Can flip-flops be considered acceptable footwear?
One company decided to cut through the confusion with this gem:
"Dress Code: Please do. Clothes are not optional."
Well, that’s certainly one way to ensure a certain level of professionalism.
Another standout line?
"If your outfit prompts a conversation about the weather, it’s probably inappropriate."
Oh, and they also added this zinger:
"If you wear a suit, remember that our offices have central heating. It’s possible you may spontaneously combust in meetings."
Finally, a dress code that acknowledges both the absurdity and practicality of office wear.
2. The One That Nailed the “Personal Phone Calls” Policy
Most handbooks will sternly remind you that personal calls should be kept to a minimum. This one, however, decided to lay it all out:
"Personal calls are allowed, but remember that anyone within a five-mile radius can hear your conversation with the volume level you use."
It then added:
"If you have a personal call involving a breakup, a family feud, or anything that may require tissues, we recommend taking it outside to avoid involving the entire office in your personal drama."
Considerate and practical, all wrapped in a bow of good humour.
3. The One with the Realistic Sick Day Policy
The sick day policy is often a maze of red tape and guilt-inducing statements about “team spirit.”
But not at this company:
"If you’re sick, stay home. We love you, but not your germs."
And who could forget this heartfelt note:
"If you call in sick after a big night out, we appreciate the honesty. Just remember, we’ve all been there, and we’ll judge you silently."
Finally, an understanding sick day policy that recognises the realities of modern life.
4. The One That Embraced Email Etiquette
Email communication is an art form, one that this company acknowledged with a few pointers:
"If you're using more than three exclamation points, you might want to tone it down. Remember, even emails get overexcited at times."
And this absolute gem:
"If your email could be summarised in a meme, it probably shouldn’t have been an email in the first place."
Who knew email etiquette could be both educational and entertaining?
5. The One That Covered the “Office Fridge” Dilemma
Office fridges are notorious battlegrounds for forgotten lunches and expired yoghurts.
This handbook tackled the issue head-on:
"If you didn’t bring it, don’t eat it. We’re not running an accidental communal buffet."
And let’s not overlook this culinary caution:
"If your food smells like it could walk out on its own, it’s time to let it go."
A clear, concise approach to tackling office fridge etiquette - with a sprinkle of humour for good measure.
6. The One with a Policy on Pets at Work
Some companies allow pets in the office, which can be both a joy and a nightmare. This handbook outlined their policy with flair:
"Pets are welcome, but they must be trained to a higher standard than your average cat."
And for those who might take liberties:
"If your pet eats a colleague’s lunch, you owe them a replacement that’s at least double the original value."
Finally, a pet policy that both welcomes furry friends and anticipates their potential hijinks.
Need to Recruit People Who Appreciate a Good Laugh?
If you’re reading this and wondering whether your employee handbook could use a comedy makeover, we can help.
At Coburg Banks, we understand that the right workplace culture isn’t just about following the rules - it’s about creating an environment where people can thrive and, dare we say it, enjoy themselves.
So, if you’re looking to recruit people who can balance a good laugh with hard work, get in touch.
We promise we won’t judge your employee handbook - unless you want us to.
