There are things in life that once held meaning and gravitas but have slowly descended into a state of utter absurdity. Like the word ‘literally’ - which now means both ‘literally’ and… not literally. Or electoral promises that evaporate quicker than a puddle on a summer’s day. And then, of course, there are job titles.
Ah yes, the once-clear indicator of one’s professional standing has now become a playful game of corporate Mad Libs. Because why settle for ‘Marketing Manager’ when you could be a ‘Growth Hacker’ or a ‘Brand Warrior’? Why be a humble ‘Customer Service Representative’ when you could be a ‘Customer Happiness Champion’?
Welcome to the world of meaningless job titles, where a word salad is the main course and common sense is strictly off the menu.
The Rise of the ‘Creative’ Job Title
Once upon a time, job titles were simple. You knew what a ‘Doctor’ did. You could reasonably guess what a ‘Teacher’ got up to from 9 to 5. But today? Today, you could meet someone who’s a ‘Chief Inspiration Officer’ and still have no blooming idea what they actually do.
This era of creativity in job titles might be excused as a harmless attempt to inject some fun into the daily grind. But let’s be honest, calling someone a ‘Wizard of Lightbulb Moments’ doesn’t make filing TPS reports any more magical.
In a world where everyone’s a ‘Ninja,’ ‘Guru,’ or ‘Evangelist,’ it’s no wonder people are confused about what they’re actually applying for or what they’ll be doing if they get hired. I mean, how many ninjas actually have to worry about quarterly performance reviews?
The Problem with Over-Inflated Titles
The quest for unique job titles isn’t just a matter of playful creativity. No, it’s also a cunning tactic used by companies to make mundane roles sound far grander than they actually are. After all, it’s easier to attract candidates to a role as a ‘Data Scientist’ than as a ‘Junior Spreadsheet Wrangler.’
But while a flashy title might get you more attention on job boards, it also sets up an expectation that often leads to disappointment. When you hire someone to be a ‘Digital Overlord’ and they discover they’re just managing the company’s Twitter account, it’s only a matter of time before they start looking for the exit.
And let’s not forget the inevitable inflation of expectations. When everyone is a ‘Senior Vice President of Something or Other,’ what does that make the actual senior vice presidents? Are they now ‘Ultra Supreme Commanders’? It all becomes a bit ludicrous, to be honest.
The Confusion Continues
This title inflation can also cause chaos when it comes to hiring. As recruiters, we find ourselves wading through resumes filled with meaningless titles, trying to decipher whether a ‘Chief Happiness Officer’ is a glorified HR manager or the person responsible for making sure the office plants are perked up.
And don’t get me started on the candidates. They’re left scratching their heads, wondering why they’re getting rejection letters for jobs they’re not even sure they applied for. “I swear I applied to be a Data Analyst, not a Data Jedi,” they mutter, as they reconsider their life choices.
The Case for Simplicity
Perhaps it’s time to bring some sanity back to the professional world. To return to the days when a job title clearly conveyed what a person did without the need for a glossary. After all, simplicity is often the key to clarity.
Let’s call a spade a spade, and a ‘Marketing Specialist’ a ‘Marketing Specialist.’ Let’s leave the fancy titles for costume parties and fantasy novels where they belong. And let’s remember that behind every ‘Innovation Evangelist’ is someone who probably just wants a clear understanding of what’s expected of them.
Need to Recruit Without the Gibberish?
If reading this has made you reconsider the titles you’ve been tossing around like confetti, we’re here to help. At Coburg Banks, we’re all about clear and straightforward recruitment that doesn’t leave candidates feeling like they’ve wandered into a Monty Python sketch.
Whether you’re looking to fill a role with a traditional title or something a bit more avant-garde, we’ll make sure your requirements are understood and met. So if you’re ready to recruit without the gibberish, get in touch. We promise not to sprinkle any unnecessary magic dust onto your job titles.
