There are mysteries in this world that may never be solved. The Loch Ness Monster, the Bermuda Triangle, and why every job advert seems like it was copy-pasted from a 2012 business blog.
It’s as if someone unearthed an old eBook titled "How to Write a Job Advert in the Most Banal Way Possible"and decided that its outdated wisdom would be the guiding star for recruitment professionals across the globe.
And so, we find ourselves in this bizarre, never-ending loop of adverts filled with clichés, buzzwords, and phrases that lost their meaning back when Gangnam Style was still a thing.
The Rise of the Buzzword Bonanza
Ah, buzzwords. The linguistic equivalent of glitter - they seem like a good idea at first, but ultimately, they get everywhere and are impossible to get rid of.
The job advert of today (and indeed, yesterday) is a veritable minefield of buzzwords. You’ve got your "synergy," your "paradigm shifts," and, of course, the infamous "blue-sky thinking."
Let’s not even get started on "growth hacking," which sounds less like a viable business strategy and more like something you’d need antibiotics to cure.
These words are relics from a bygone era when businesses thought that sounding like a TED Talk would somehow make them more appealing.
And yet, they persist, as stale and unappetising as a three-day-old conference sandwich.
Template Turmoil
It all starts with a template. A seemingly innocent tool designed to save time and ensure consistency. But like a runaway AI experiment, templates have taken over the world of job adverts, turning creativity into a distant memory.
The problem is, most of these templates were created in an age when the iPhone 5 was cutting-edge technology and skinny jeans were all the rage.
And so, we’re left with job descriptions that feel like they were penned by a time traveller who just popped in from 2012, bewildered by this strange, modern world of electric cars and avocados on toast.
Many employers, in their quest to save time, simply grab these templates, fill in the blanks, and hit ‘publish,’ unleashing yet another predictable, cookie-cutter job advert into the wild.
The Illusion of Professionalism
Let’s face it, there’s a certain allure to using fancy words and corporate jargon. It makes things feel more official, more serious. After all, you can’t just say you’re looking for someone to answer phones and deal with customers. No, you need a "Client Communication Specialist."
It’s all about creating an illusion of grandeur, convincing potential candidates that they’ll be joining a forward-thinking, dynamic organisation, rather than just another company selling widgets on the internet.
The sad reality, however, is that most candidates see through the façade. They know that "proactively engage in strategic initiatives" really means "do what we tell you, and do it quietly."
The Fear of Missing Out
Somewhere along the line, employers developed an intense fear of missing out. Not on the latest social media trend or celebrity gossip, but on the chance to appear cutting-edge and innovative.
This has led to job adverts stuffed to the brim with every trending buzzword and phrase, regardless of whether they’re relevant or not.
It’s as if someone took a handful of trendy corporate phrases, threw them into a blender, and poured the resulting slush into the job advert, hoping it would somehow make them appear more appealing to potential candidates.
The irony is that while these employers are frantically trying to be everything to everyone, they end up being memorable to no one.
The Solution to the Madness
So, is there a way out of this corporate Groundhog Day? Is there a path to writing job adverts that actually resonate and stand out?
The answer is a resounding yes. And it starts with a little thing called authenticity.
Instead of leaning on tired clichés and buzzwords, why not tell it like it is? Be honest about what the role entails, what the company culture is truly like, and what kind of person would thrive in the position.
Because, let’s be honest, if your last job advert sounds like it could have been written by anyone, for anyone, at any time in the last decade, it’s probably time for a change.
Need Help Crafting Authentic Job Adverts?
If you’re tired of blending into the background with copy-pasted job adverts and want to attract the right candidates with clear, engaging, and authentic job adverts, we’re here to help.
At Coburg Banks, we specialise in crafting job ads that don’t just tick boxes - they tell a story and attract the candidates you need.
So if you’re ready to break free from the chains of 2012, get in touch. We promise we won’t mention "synergy" even once.
