There are few things in life that can completely ruin your day quite like autocorrect.
It’s like giving a toddler control of a nuclear launch code.
Or asking a cat to do your taxes.
Because no matter how smart our technology gets, there’s one thing it seems determined to do: embarrass us at every possible opportunity.
Take job applications, for example.
In theory, they’re your chance to shine - to show potential employers that you’re a competent, intelligent adult who can be trusted with more responsibility than watering the office plants.
But in reality, you’re one rogue keystroke away from turning your cover letter into a comedic masterpiece.
So, in honour of those who have fallen victim to autocorrect’s treachery, here are some of the funniest typos ever found in job applications.
1. The Enthusiastic Greeting
You’re applying for your dream job. You want to come across as polite, enthusiastic, and professional.
But instead of typing “Dear Hiring Manager,” autocorrect decides to throw you a curveball:
"Dead Hiring Manager,"
Right. Because that’s not creepy at all.
2. The Awkward Skillset
Listing your skills is crucial in any job application. Unfortunately, autocorrect has other ideas:
"I am experienced in whale management."
Unless you’re applying to SeaWorld, this could be a problem.
And let’s not forget the classic:
"I have strong attention to derail."
It’s like saying you’re great at not doing your job.
3. The Questionable Experience
Explaining your previous roles is essential. But when autocorrect steps in, things can get… confusing:
"I was responsible for managing a team of 15 monkeys."
Sure, managing people feels like herding cats sometimes, but come on.
4. The Odd Job Titles
Job titles are supposed to be straightforward. But every now and then, autocorrect decides to spice things up:
"I worked as a Vice President of Snakes."
Okay, Indiana Jones.
And who could forget:
"My role as a Retail Bacon Assistant really honed my customer service skills."
Because bacon is a very demanding customer.
5. The Unfortunate Hobbies
Hobbies are a great way to show off your personality. But when autocorrect gets involved, they can become… problematic:
"In my free time, I enjoy jogging and murdering."
Note: Directors of HR do not find this amusing.
Then there’s:
"I like to cook, read, and knit corpses."
Which is a red flag for any employer.
6. The Unintentionally Flirty Sign-Off
When it comes to job applications, you want to end on a high note. Unfortunately, autocorrect has a different idea:
"Looking forward to hearing from you. Lots of love, Sarah"
Right. Because nothing says ‘professional’ quite like a declaration of love.
7. The Honest Mistake
Sometimes autocorrect just decides to tell the truth:
"I’m a proficient liar with many years of experience."
Well, honesty is the best policy, isn’t it?
And another gem:
"I pride myself on my ability to procrastinate under pressure."
We all do, mate. We all do.
8. The Unfortunate Geography
When explaining where you’re based, location can be everything:
"I currently reside in Publand."
Tempting, but probably not what you meant.
Or this classic:
"I’m located in the United Kingdom of Pancakes."
Maybe they’ll appreciate your sense of humour?
9. The Unintentional Confession
There are some things better left unsaid:
"I have excellent crinimal record."
Let’s hope they don’t do a background check.
And another favourite:
"I have no experience at lying."
Honestly - what are you applying for?
10. The Overly Honest References
Listing references is important. But it helps if you don’t alert them to your flaws:
"References available upon requestion."
Sounds like someone might be making up words.
"My last employer can connive my abilities."
Let’s hope they’re not too conniving.
Need to Recruit People Who Can Spell?
If any of these typos have you cringing, it might be time to let someone else handle the hiring process.
At Coburg Banks, we help businesses find qualified professionals who can spell - and more importantly, who can make it through an application without accidentally incriminating themselves.
So, if you need quality candidates (and not a Vice President of Snakes) - get in touch.
We promise to spare you the comedy of errors.
