Ah, corporate buzzwords - the linguistic equivalent of that one colleague who always insists on showing you pictures of their dog.
Initially charming, but quickly tiresome, and before long, you’re desperately looking for an escape.
Buzzwords are the bread and butter of office talk, the nonsense jargon that makes everything sound more important than it actually is.
They’re the words that make you question whether you’re in a boardroom or a session of Dungeons & Dragons.
And the worst part? They’re like weeds. You pluck one out, and five more sprout up in its place.
So, let’s take a moment to reflect on the most pointless corporate buzzwords that need to be banished from our vocabulary - preferably yesterday.
1. Synergy
Ah yes, synergy - the corporate old-timer that refuses to die.
Originally intended to describe the magical harmony of two things working better together, it’s now used to justify everything from terrible PowerPoint presentations to failed marketing campaigns.
Synergy is the word you use when you want to sound intelligent but actually have nothing of value to contribute.
In other words, it’s the verbal equivalent of nodding and smiling through a meeting you don’t understand.
2. Circle Back
Oh, how I loathe this phrase.
Circle back is what you say when you have no intention of ever actually revisiting the topic.
It’s the adult version of telling your friend you’ll meet up for coffee but then ghosting them for six months.
It’s corporate speak for, “I’m going to drop this like a hot potato and hope nobody brings it up again.”
Let’s save everyone some time and just say what we mean: “I’m ignoring this forever.”
3. Outside the Box
Thinking outside the box is the holy grail of corporate creativity.
Ironically, telling someone to “think outside the box” is the most inside the box thing you can do.
It’s become so overused that it’s essentially meaningless.
Now, I’m all for innovation, but let’s be honest: sometimes the best ideas come from inside the box, and that’s perfectly okay.
Let’s save the outside-the-box thinking for avant-garde painters and people who put pineapple on pizza.
4. Low-Hanging Fruit
Ah, the low-hanging fruit - a lazy metaphor for the easy wins, the quick fixes, the things you do first because they require the least effort.
In reality, it’s just a fancy way of saying, “Let’s do the bare minimum.”
Besides, have you ever actually seen low-hanging fruit? It’s usually not very appealing. It’s the bruised apple or the mushy banana nobody wants.
So, when someone asks you to pursue the low-hanging fruit, what they’re really saying is, “Here, deal with this rubbish.”
5. Leverage
Oh, leverage - the corporate equivalent of elasticated trousers.
It’s stretchy, it’s vague, and it fits into any conversation.
We’re always leveraging ideas, leveraging assets, leveraging synergies (because nothing says “I’m an innovator” quite like leveraging a synergy).
But, much like elasticated trousers, it should be reserved for the laziest of days.
6. Bandwidth
This is a technical term that’s been hijacked by the business world to mean, well, time and energy.
It’s a lovely, modern way to say, “I’m too busy for this.”
But here’s the thing: it doesn’t actually make you sound busy. It just makes you sound like you’re pretending to be busy.
And really, isn’t that what business is all about?
7. Pivot
Pivoting is the darling of buzzwords, the one that’s been on a meteoric rise thanks to the pandemic.
Start-ups are pivoting, entire industries are pivoting, and soon, I expect to see adverts for pivot coaches.
But here’s the truth: pivoting is just a fancy way of saying, “We’re making this up as we go along.”
And that’s fine - but let’s call a spade a spade.
8. Granular
When someone wants to dive deep into the details, they’ll ask to get granular.
Because apparently, using the word “detailed” is just too mainstream.
Granular suggests a microscopic examination, a meticulous analysis of each and every grain of sand.
In reality, it means, “I’m going to ask a lot of unnecessary questions and make this meeting last three times longer than it should.”
Need to Recruit People Who Speak Plain English?
If you’re ready to banish buzzwords from your business and hire people who know how to communicate without sounding like a corporate jargon generator, we can help.
At Coburg Banks, we connect you with candidates who’ll get straight to the point.
So, if you’re ready to ditch the buzzwords and hire human beings instead of corporate bots, get in touch.
We promise we won’t circle back or leverage any synergies.
