There are many things in life that make you question the very fabric of logic and reason.
Like why anyone would willingly eat Marmite, or why the remote control always disappears the moment you need it most.
And then, there are the job applications where candidates justify why they should get the role - often with reasoning that would make a toddler's imaginary friend raise an eyebrow.
Because, while it’s crucial to stand out, sometimes people take that advice and run with it, straight into a realm where creativity and absurdity hold hands and skip merrily down the street.
So, in celebration of those daring enough to think outside the proverbial box - or possibly just outside the boundaries of sanity - here are some of the funniest ‘I deserve this job’ justifications we’ve ever seen.
1. The ‘Destiny’ Argument
There are many ways to say you’re the perfect fit for a role. Then, there’s the candidate who wrote:
"I walked past your office building at least three times before seeing this job advert. I believe it’s a sign from the universe that I belong with your team."
Ah yes, because the universe is well-known for sending career advice through architectural landmarks.
Next time I find myself lost near a Tesco Express, I’ll be sure to interpret it as a divine nudge to change careers.
2. The ‘Childhood Dream’ Justification
Some people dream of becoming astronauts or doctors.
Others, apparently, dream of becoming account managers at mid-sized firms in Milton Keynes.
"Ever since I was a child, I’ve dreamed of working in supply chain logistics. I used to organise my Lego by colour and size."
Now, I’m all for ambition, but I have a sneaking suspicion this is less about youthful dreams and more about creative embellishment.
Still, if you can manage to turn a passion for Lego into a career path, I salute you.
3. The ‘Unrelated Skillset’ Brag
Everyone has a hidden talent. But not every talent is relevant.
"I deserve this job because I can solve a Rubik’s Cube in under 60 seconds."
Impressive, yes. Relevant to a role in customer service? Not so much.
"My deep knowledge of 18th-century French poetry makes me uniquely qualified for this IT support position."
Ah, of course. Who doesn’t love a bit of Baudelaire with their software troubleshooting?
4. The ‘Unique Perspective’ Pitch
Some candidates try to sell themselves by boasting a unique viewpoint.
"As someone who has never worked a day in this industry, I bring a unique perspective that’s untainted by experience."
Which is a bit like saying, “As someone who doesn’t know how to drive, I bring a unique perspective to Formula 1 racing.”
It’s certainly a bold strategy - but perhaps not the one I’d recommend.
5. The ‘Self-Confidence’ Manifesto
There’s confidence, and then there’s this:
"You should hire me because I’m the best. I don’t know what that means in this context, but I’m pretty sure it’s true."
Right. And I’m the Queen of England.
But by all means, continue manifesting that reality - it’s clearly working wonders.
6. The ‘Comparison’ Gambit
Some candidates believe that comparing themselves to famous personalities will seal the deal.
"I’m like the Steve Jobs of data entry."
Ah yes, because when I think of innovative technology pioneers, I immediately think of Excel spreadsheets and database management.
"I’m the Beyoncé of administrative assistants."
Really? Because unless you can handle a phone call while simultaneously belting out “Single Ladies,” I’m not sure that holds up.
7. The ‘Pure Desperation’ Ploy
Desperation is a powerful motivator - but it can lead to some questionable justifications:
"I need this job because my cat just had kittens, and they eat a lot."
Or:
"I’ve applied for 417 jobs, and you’re the only one who hasn’t rejected me yet."
Which, while brutally honest, might not be the most persuasive argument.
8. The ‘Fictional Experience’ Tale
Creativity knows no bounds, and some candidates treat the application process like an exercise in storytelling:
"In a past life, I was a Viking warrior. My skills in battle translate well to your sales team."
Right. Because the ability to wield a battleaxe is clearly transferable to a CRM system.
"I’ve always seen myself as a bit of a wizard, which I believe makes me well-suited for your accounting department."
Because if there’s one thing accountants love, it’s magic tricks with numbers.
Need to Recruit Someone Who Makes Sense?
If you’ve had enough of bizarre justifications and want to hire people who can provide a logical reason for why they deserve the job, we’re here to help.
At Coburg Banks, we specialise in finding candidates whose skills and experience align with reality - and hopefully, sanity.
So, if you’re ready to recruit without the nonsense, get in touch.
We promise to leave the wizards and Vikings at home.
