There are certain things in life that are so overused, they’ve lost all meaning.
Like the word “literally” (which is now literally used for everything), or any song that gets played on the radio more than twice an hour.
But perhaps no realm suffers more from this affliction than the world of job adverts—a place where buzzwords flourish like dandelions in an untended garden.
Buzzwords are the verbal equivalent of a used car salesman’s smile: shiny, insincere, and designed to distract you from the fact that the rust bucket in the lot is held together with duct tape and hope.
And yet, they persist—clogging up job adverts, making them longer, more confusing, and more frustrating than they ever have any right to be.
So, let’s peel back the façade and decode some of the most overused buzzwords in job adverts… and what they really mean.
1. "Dynamic"
Ah, dynamic. A word that sounds like it was pulled straight from the pages of a superhero comic.
In reality, when a job advert wants someone “dynamic”, they’re looking for someone who won’t spontaneously combust under pressure.
Also, it’s code for: “We have no idea what we need, but we’ll know it when we see it.”
2. "Self-starter"
This one is a classic. A staple of job adverts everywhere, the “self-starter” is someone who doesn’t need to be told what to do.
What it really means is: “We won’t give you much training or guidance, but we’ll expect you to perform like you’ve been here for a decade.”
3. "Fast-paced environment"
Ah, nothing stirs the soul quite like the promise of a “fast-paced environment.”
Translated, this means: “You will have a mountain of work dumped on your desk ten minutes before the end of the day, and you’ll be expected to finish it all by yesterday.”
4. "Innovative"
When a company refers to itself as “innovative,” it wants you to think of it as a fearless pioneer, boldly going where no company has gone before.
In reality, it usually means: “We think slightly different PowerPoint templates count as groundbreaking.”
5. "Team player"
Ah, the call for a “team player,” a perennial favourite for those seeking to fill their ranks with cheerful cogs in the corporate machine.
What it really means: “You will be expected to cover for your colleagues when they inevitably disappear during crunch time.”
6. "Competitive salary"
If you’re ever tempted to believe that a “competitive salary” actually means a competitive salary, let me gently disabuse you of that notion.
It means: “We pay the bare minimum we can get away with.”
7. "Results-driven"
A “results-driven” candidate is someone who gets things done. Without results, you are mere deadwood floating in the ocean of corporate mediocrity.
What it really means: “If targets aren’t met, we’ll blame you.”
8. "Proactive"
This is for those who think standing around and waiting for instructions is for the birds.
Translated: “We will not tell you how to do your job, but we will blame you if it goes wrong.”
9. "Visionary"
In job adverts, a “visionary” is someone who can see the future—preferably one that includes record-breaking profits.
What it really means: “We have no strategy whatsoever, and we’re hoping you’ll fix that.”
10. "Rockstar"
There’s something inexplicably cringe-worthy about seeing a job advert looking for a “rockstar.”
In translation: “Be prepared to work all hours with little recognition, but hey, we’ll call you a rockstar, so that’s something.”
Need to Recruit Without the Jargon?
If reading this has made you want to purge your job adverts of meaningless buzzwords, we’re here to help.
At Coburg Banks, we craft job descriptions that are clear, concise, and actually speak to the skills and talents you’re looking for.
So, if you need to recruit without the jargon and find candidates who understand what the job really entails, get in touch.
We promise to keep it real—and most importantly, keep it buzzword-free.
