Ah, sleeping on the job. A timeless tradition that dates back to the dawn of employment itself. It's up there with pretending to know what you're doing in meetings and strategically hitting the 'Reply All' button to give the illusion of productivity.
But sometimes, life catches up with you, and before you know it, you're drooling on the keyboard while your boss is standing over you, looking like they're about to combust.
The real art form, however, lies in the excuse you concoct to justify your impromptu nap. Because if you're going to be caught dozing like a toddler after a playdate, you might as well have a story that sticks.
So, grab your blankets and pillows, and let's dive into some of the funniest, most unexpected excuses employees have ever dared to dream up.
1. The 'I Was Testing My Eyelids for Light Leaks' Excuse
A classic. This excuse requires just the right mix of nonchalance and pseudo-scientific jargon to convince your boss that drifting off into dreamland was actually a valuable experiment.
“Oh, I wasn’t sleeping. I was conducting a thorough examination of my eyelids’ ability to block out light. You’ll be pleased to know they passed with flying colours.”
Because nothing says 'dedicated employee' quite like conducting personal research while on the clock.
2. The 'Global Warming Made Me Do It' Excuse
If all else fails, blame climate change. After all, it’s responsible for every other catastrophe these days, so why not your unexpected nap?
“It was the heatwave, sir. The office temperature went up by a degree, and my body mistook it for bedtime.”
Because when the thermostat hits 21°C, who wouldn't think it's time for a siesta?
3. The 'I Was Meditating' Excuse
This one is brilliant because it flips the narrative from 'lazy employee' to 'enlightened yogi'.
“Actually, I was meditating. It’s a technique to increase productivity by clearing the mind.”
And if anyone questions the loud snoring, claim it’s a new-age breathing exercise.
4. The 'I Was Practicing Astral Projection' Excuse
This excuse is a head-scratcher, but it’s so bizarre it just might work.
“I wasn’t sleeping. I was practising astral projection. My body was here, but my mind was off somewhere gathering critical insights for the company.”
Who can argue with that? Unless your boss has a degree in metaphysics, you’re in the clear.
5. The 'I Was Counting Ceiling Tiles' Excuse
Sometimes the best excuses are the simplest ones.
“I was just counting the ceiling tiles. Did you know there are 58? Now we do.”
It’s pointless, but it’s a fact. Who can get mad at factual information?
6. The 'Post-Lunch Food Coma' Excuse
We’ve all been there. That inevitable crash after a carb-heavy lunch.
“It was the sandwich, boss. It was so delicious it literally sent me into a coma.”
It's a relatable excuse that might even earn you some empathy points if your boss has ever tackled a lasagna at lunchtime.
7. The 'I Was Practicing for Fatigue Management' Excuse
Spin your nap into a learning opportunity.
“I was actually practising fatigue management techniques. It’s a proactive approach to ensure I’m always at my best when needed.”
Because future-proofing your energy levels is just responsible, right?
8. The 'I Was Trying to Build Rapport with My Chair' Excuse
In a world where 'team building' is all the rage, why not extend it to your furniture?
“I was getting to know my chair better, bonding if you will. It’s important to have a supportive team environment.”
Your boss might not buy it, but they’ll have to admire your creativity.
9. The 'Sleep is the Cousin of Innovation' Excuse
If all else fails, act like your nap was the first step in an innovative breakthrough.
“I read somewhere that sleep is the key to creativity. I was just trying to innovate, boss.”
Point to any successful entrepreneur who swears by power naps. You’ll sound like a forward-thinking visionary rather than a sleepy slacker.
10. The 'I Was Running a Sleep Study' Excuse
When in doubt, pretend you were conducting research.
“I was running a sleep study to see how it affects productivity. Results are inconclusive, but I’ll need another nap to confirm.”
By taking one for the team, you’re practically a hero. Just make sure no one expects a detailed report.
Need to Recruit Employees with Creativity (But Also, a Decent Sleep Schedule)?
While a good excuse can be amusing, reliable employees who can balance work and rest are invaluable.
At Coburg Banks, we help you find candidates who bring creativity, accountability, and a strong work ethic to the table - ensuring they're awake and alert for the workday.
So if you need to recruit people who can manage their time and their naps, get in touch. We’ll help you find the perfect fit.
Just be sure to provide them with comfortable chairs - you know, just in case.
