In the world of recruitment, there's one unspoken rule that everyone abides by: Never quite trust what's on the CV. Because, let's face it, when it comes to securing that all-important first interview, many candidates have no qualms about stretching the truth until it’s begging for mercy.
Sure, we’ve all been guilty of a little embellishment – claiming to have a passion for 'dynamic team environments' when in reality, the mere thought of a group meeting makes us want to crawl under our desks and rock gently. But then, there are the lies so outrageous, so utterly unbelievable, that they deserve to be framed and hung in the “Hall of Infamy.”
So, grab your popcorn, kick back, and enjoy this collection of the most audacious fibs ever told, lovingly compiled by our team of recruiters and guaranteed to make you both laugh and slightly fear for the future of humanity.
1. The Time Traveler
One candidate boldly claimed they had five years of experience in a software that hadn’t even been invented when they supposedly started using it.
Impressive, right? Not if you consider the small detail that this magical feat would require a flux capacitor and a DeLorean. Perhaps they thought no one would Google it – a rookie mistake in the age of the internet.
2. The Language Lover
Languages can spice up any CV, but one applicant overshot the mark by listing fluency in Klingon. Not only did this backfire spectacularly when the interviewer, a die-hard Star Trek fan, started a conversation in Klingon, but it also resulted in a painful and cringe-worthy silence.
The lesson here? If you’re going to lie about language skills, perhaps pick one that’s spoken on Earth.
3. The Award Winner
Ah, the thrill of receiving an accolade. One candidate claimed to have won a prestigious industry award, but it was later discovered that the award didn’t even exist.
To make matters worse, they had proudly attached a photo of themselves holding a generic trophy from a local shop.
Note to candidates: If you’re going to invent an award, at least make sure it sounds plausible. “The Annual Best Human” trophy doesn’t quite cut it.
4. The Degree Faker
Claiming a degree from a university that doesn’t exist is an ambitious move. One candidate went as far as to list a PhD from “University of Life and Knowledge.”
While that sounds poetic, it lacks the academic rigor most recruiters expect. Sadly for them, life experience doesn’t come with a mortarboard and gown.
5. The Marathon Runner
In an attempt to demonstrate their resilience and dedication, one candidate claimed to have completed 17 marathons.
However, a quick background check revealed that their idea of a marathon was, in fact, the intense act of watching an entire series of a TV show in one sitting.
While we admire the commitment to Netflix, it’s not quite the same as pounding the pavement for 26.2 miles.
6. The Multinational Mogul
Some applicants like to think big. One such individual claimed to have launched a multinational corporation with branches in four different countries.
This was all well and good until it was discovered that their 'corporation' was a series of Etsy shops selling questionable knitted “fashion” that had about as much international reach as a local bake sale.
7. The “Fluent” Speaker
We all know the importance of being multilingual in today’s global job market.
However, one candidate’s attempt to impress with their “fluent Mandarin” skills fell flat when they confused it with sushi menu terminology.
Unless you’re applying for a job at a sushi restaurant, knowing how to perfectly pronounce “sashimi” isn’t quite the same as fluency in a complex language.
8. The Historical Figure
In a twist that defied belief, one audacious applicant claimed to be a direct descendant of Julius Caesar.
While we appreciate a good sense of history, this claim was as believable as Rome being built in a day.
Here’s a tip for future applicants: If your ancestry claim sounds like the plot of a Dan Brown novel, maybe leave it off the CV.
9. The Sports Star
Many people like to mention sports achievements to highlight teamwork and discipline.
However, one candidate took it too far by claiming to have been the captain of a national sports team… of a country they’d never even visited.
Apparently, their idea of “national representation” involved an intense weekend of FIFA on the PlayStation.
10. The Tech Genius
Finally, we have the candidate who claimed to have developed a groundbreaking app that revolutionized the tech industry.
In reality, the app was a simple flashlight application that had managed to crash every phone it was installed on.
Ambitious claims are one thing, but remember, recruiters are quite capable of using the very technology you claim to have invented.
Need to Recruit Honest Candidates?
If you’re tired of sifting through CVs that require a lie detector and a sense of humour, we’re here to help.
At Coburg Banks, we specialize in finding genuine talent that can actually do what they claim, without the need for time machines or fictional awards.
Get in touch today, and let us help you find candidates who are as truthful as they are talented (and hopefully know the difference between Mandarin and maki rolls).
