Recruitment is a bit like being a parent. It’s a never-ending cycle of repeating yourself, trying to keep your cool, and praying that someone - anyone - listens to you.
But just when you think you’ve seen it all, a candidate will come along and ask a question so utterly baffling that you’ll start to question the very fabric of reality.
And then you remember: this is the job. This is your life now.
So, in the spirit of sharing and a bit of light-hearted fun, here are some of the funniest things recruiters have had to explain to candidates. Grab a cup of tea, sit back, and enjoy the chaos.
The Concept of ‘Business Casual’
Let’s start with the never-ending enigma that is the business casual dress code.
To some, it’s a straightforward concept: not quite a suit and tie, but certainly not jeans and a hoodie.
To others, it’s a wild guessing game that results in a myriad of memorable outfits.
“So, I can wear cargo shorts with a tie, right?”
Or my personal favourite:
“Business casual means pyjamas, yeah?”
Only if your business is a sleepwear company.
The Importance of a CV
CVs are a cornerstone of the recruitment process, yet for some candidates, they remain a mysterious relic of a bygone era.
For example, there was the time a candidate sent in their CV as a series of photos of handwritten notes - complete with doodles in the margins.
“I didn’t think you needed a CV because I’m really good at describing myself in person.”
And then there are the candidates who submit a CV longer than a Russian novel, detailing every single GCSE module they’ve ever taken.
“I once got a participation certificate in Year 9 for a creative writing competition.”
Fascinating. Tell me more.
The Definition of ‘Experience’
Experience: we all know it’s important, but what qualifies as ‘experience’ is often up for debate.
Recruiters have had to explain that winning a local pub quiz doesn’t qualify you to manage a multinational corporation’s financial strategy.
“I’ve played a lot of video games, so I think I’d be great at IT support.”
It’s a compelling argument, but I don’t think that’s quite what we’re looking for.
The Concept of ‘Punctuality’
Punctuality is a simple concept: turn up on time. Yet, for some, it’s as elusive as the secret to eternal youth.
One recruiter recalled a candidate who turned up to an interview half an hour late, only to announce:
“I’m here! Better late than never, right?”
No, Brenda. In this case, never might have been better.
And then there’s the candidate who casually strolled in two hours after their scheduled time:
“I was just giving you a chance to miss me.”
Hate to break it to you, but we didn’t.
The Notion of ‘Professionalism’
Ah, professionalism. Some people just naturally exude it, while others… well, let’s just say they struggle a bit.
One recruiter had to explain why it wasn’t appropriate for a candidate to bring their pet snake to an interview.
“She’s really well-behaved, I promise!”
And another had to gently inform a candidate that starting an interview with:
“I’m here, let’s get this over with.”
…wasn’t exactly the best way to make a first impression.
How to End a Phone Call
Ending a phone call is typically a simple affair: say goodbye, hang up, and carry on with your day. For some, though, it’s a challenge worthy of its own reality TV show.
One candidate, after a long and winding conversation, simply said:
“Right, I’m going now. Bye forever.”
Another decided to end the call with:
“I love you.”
Well, that escalated quickly.
Need to Recruit Without the Comedy Act?
If you’ve experienced similar recruitment mishaps and want to avoid more hilarity (and confusion), Coburg Banks is here to help.
We find candidates who understand basic concepts like deadlines, punctuality, and why bringing a snake to an interview is a bad idea.
So if you’re ready to recruit with confidence, get in touch.
No snakes, we promise.
