Ah, the age-old mantra of modern career advice: “Fake it till you make it.”
It’s the motivational equivalent of suggesting someone fly an airplane because they’ve watched a couple of YouTube tutorials.
But while most of us use this saying to muster enough courage to stumble through Monday morning meetings, some candidates take it a little too literally.
And by “a little,” I mean they’re probably sitting in an interview, claiming they’re the reincarnation of Steve Jobs while dressed like Indiana Jones.
We’ve all heard tales of people bluffing their way to success, but sometimes the faking is so blatant, so hilariously audacious, you can’t help but admire the sheer chutzpah.
So buckle up, because we’re diving into the world of candidates who took “Fake It Till You Make It” to the edge of reason—and then decided to jump off.
The Language Virtuoso
First up, we have the tale of an ambitious candidate who claimed to be fluent in five languages, including Mandarin, Russian, and Klingon.
Yes, you read that correctly—Klingon.
But, as any seasoned recruiter will tell you, the truth has a pesky habit of emerging, particularly when your interviewer happens to be a Star Trek enthusiast.
When asked to say something in Klingon, our multi-lingual maestro confidently declared:
"Qo'noS Qapla'!"
Which, for those not fluent in fictional languages, roughly translates to “Kronos success.”
Not a complete disaster, but when asked to elaborate, our candidate’s attempt quickly descended into a jumbled mess of random guttural sounds and wild hand gestures that looked more like an exorcism than a language demonstration.
The Tech Guru
Then there was the candidate who claimed proficiency in every software known to man. Excel, Photoshop, even something called “Nanoscope”—which, as far as we can tell, doesn’t actually exist.
During the interview, our would-be tech genius was given a simple Excel task.
After a solid 20 minutes of intense frowning and loud sighing, they finally admitted:
"I’m more of an ideas person."
Translation: “I once opened Excel, panicked, and closed it again.”
The Executive Extraordinaire
We all know the type: the candidate who insists they were a “key decision-maker” at their previous job.
One such individual waxed lyrical about leading a groundbreaking project that “transformed the company’s strategic direction.”
Impressive, right?
Until further questioning revealed that the “project” involved suggesting the office coffee machine be moved closer to the break room.
The Fitness Fanatic
In the world of fitness, a little embellishment is par for the course. But one candidate decided to take this to a whole new level.
They claimed to have completed not one, not two, but five Ironman triathlons.
Now, for those unaware, an Ironman is a grueling event consisting of a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride, and a marathon 26.2-mile run.
When asked about their training regime, the candidate replied:
"I just jog a bit and do a few sit-ups."
Yes, because that’s all it takes to complete an Ironman.
Perhaps they meant they’d watched five Ironman movies.
The World Traveller
Travelling can be a great addition to your CV—cultural awareness, adaptability, and all that good stuff.
One candidate claimed to have extensively travelled through Europe, immersing themselves in local cultures and languages.
When asked for their favourite European city, they confidently replied:
"Sydney."
Ah yes, the picturesque beaches of Sydney, France, are truly a marvel.
The Serial Entrepreneur
Last but not least, the candidate who claimed to have founded a “highly successful startup.”
Further investigation revealed this “startup” was a lemonade stand they ran as a child.
Profits were reinvested in sweets, and the “business” was sold to their younger sibling for a packet of crisps and a Pokémon card.
How to Spot the Real Deal? Let Us Help
At Coburg Banks, we specialize in finding candidates who don’t need to fake it—they’ve already made it.
We sift through the exaggerated claims, the wild stories, and the questionable credentials to find genuine talent for your team.
If you’re tired of weeding out the wannabes and want real professionals who can talk the talk and walk the walk, get in touch.
We’ll help you recruit candidates who won’t leave you deciphering Klingon or moving coffee machines in the name of innovation.
