There are some things in life that are universally feared. Public speaking, unexpected visits from the in-laws, and the inexplicable return of mullets. But even these pale in comparison to the interview process.
Yes, that delightful little ritual where you’re expected to sell yourself with such enthusiasm that it borders on the desperate, all while trying not to sweat through your suit jacket.
And just when you think you’ve nailed it - you’ve shown up on time, you’ve smiled the right amount, and you’ve managed not to trip over your own feet - you’re hit with that question.
The one that’s less about testing your skills and more about testing your sanity.
The Zoologist Dreamer
For instance, one employer once asked:
"If you were a fruit, which fruit would you be and why?"
Now, I’m no expert, but I’m reasonably sure there aren’t many roles out there where one’s choice of fictional fruit persona is actually relevant.
But imagine the poor candidate, scrambling to find the perfect answer:
"I’d be a pineapple because I’m sweet but prickly, and I sometimes look like I’m wearing a crown."
Well, at least they didn’t say banana, right?
The Philosophical Ponderer
Then there’s the classic:
"Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?"
Now, call me old-fashioned, but I’m pretty sure you won’t actually encounter either while working in logistics.
But it’s a great way for employers to evaluate your capacity to handle completely imaginary crises.
Seriously, though, just imagine trying to rationalise this:
"Well, I’d choose the horse-sized duck because, while terrifying, it’s just one opponent. Plus, if I tame it, I could ride it to work."
Because nothing screams ‘Team Player’ quite like envisioning yourself as a duck-riding warrior.
The Time Traveler’s Dilemma
Another gem came from a tech company:
"How would you explain a smartphone to someone from the 1800s?"
Is this how we’re selecting programmers now?
What happened to good old-fashioned assessments of coding skills and logical reasoning?
But sure, let’s just imagine:
"Imagine a small box that can talk to you, show you pictures, and tell you anything you want… except how to survive cholera."
The Psychologist’s Dream
Some interviewers like to dig deep, like this probing inquiry:
"If you were an animal, how would you avoid being captured by hunters?"
I wasn’t aware the job involved outrunning poachers, but alright.
Just picture the mental gymnastics required here:
"I’d be a chameleon because I can blend in, adapt, and avoid detection."
Or:
"I’d be a cheetah, fast and outrunning any challenge."
Congratulations, you’re now not only applying for a job, but also rewriting The Jungle Book.
The Creative Conundrum
And what about those who love a bit of narrative flair?
"If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive, who would they be?"
Is this an interview or a pitch for the world’s weirdest dinner party?
But you wanted to impress, so you might say:
"I’d choose Albert Einstein, because who wouldn’t want to feel intellectually inferior over dessert? Shakespeare, because I need someone who can spin a good tale, and Beyoncé - because, obviously."
Because nothing builds professional rapport like your hypothetical social calendar.
The Interview Reality
In all seriousness, these questions are crafted to see how you think on your feet, test your creativity, and sometimes just to see if you can deliver an answer without openly weeping.
They may not always make sense, but they do add a much-needed splash of eccentricity to an otherwise mundane process.
Looking for Talent Without the Bizarre Questions?
If you find yourself drowning in a sea of bizarre interview questions and disillusioned candidates, it might be time to rethink your recruitment strategy.
At Coburg Banks, we focus on sensible, insightful interviews that actually relate to the job at hand.
So, if you’re looking to recruit and want to skip the surrealism, get in touch.
We’ll make sure your interviews are memorable - for all the right reasons.
