In the grand theatre of job applications, the email sign-off is like the final bow. It’s the last thing an employer sees before deciding whether to call you for an interview or dump your CV into the digital equivalent of a paper shredder. You'd think by the time people have spent hours perfecting every comma in their cover letter, the sign-off would be a piece of cake. But oh no, dear reader. This is where things often go spectacularly, hilariously awry.
Email sign-offs can range from the boringly professional to the head-scratchingly bizarre, with some applicants executing a perfect pirouette off the cliff of sanity. So, let’s take a leisurely stroll through some of the funniest and most cringe-inducing email sign-offs we’ve encountered.
1. The Relentlessly Overconfident
Confidence is key, they say. But there’s a fine line between confidence and what can only be described as unwarranted self-importance.
Take, for example, the classic: "The Best Employee You'll Ever Have, [Name]"
Well, I suppose there’s no room for humility when you’re clearly the second coming of Steve Jobs. Why waste time on modesty when you could just assert dominance with your email sign-off?
2. The Casual Coffee Enthusiast
In today’s fast-paced world, coffee is almost a religion. But maybe, just maybe, it shouldn’t be part of your job application process. Consider this gem:
"Espresso yourself, [Name]"
I get it. Coffee is life. But unless you’re applying to be a barista, this quirky little pun is more likely to make us spill our morning brew than take you seriously.
3. The Reluctant Poet
We’ve all got a creative side, but unleashing it in a job application is a bold move. Consider this daring poet:
"May the winds of fortune sail you, [Name]"
While I appreciate the attempt at lyrical grace, it makes me feel like I should be clutching a goblet of mead, not determining if you’re suitable for an office job.
4. The Attempt at Humor
Nothing says "hire me"like a witty sign-off, right? Well, maybe not.
Take this brave soul who signed off with:
"May the odds be ever in your favour, [Name]"
Sure, it’s a pop culture reference. But unless we're hiring for the next series of The Hunger Games, it’s probably not the best choice.
5. The Uncomfortably Personal
Then there are those who take 'personal' far too literally, leaving us with a parting message that feels more like a diary entry:
"Hoping to join the [Company Name] family soon, Love, [Name]"
Ah yes, because nothing makes a more professional impression than signing off like you're sending a letter home from summer camp.
6. The Passive-Aggressive Procrastinator
Some applicants wear their heart on their sleeve, or in this case, their procrastination:
"Don’t call me, I’ll call you, [Name]"
That’s one way to take control of the situation. Sure, I’ll just sit here twiddling my thumbs, waiting for the call that will never come.
7. The Enigma
What’s better than leaving an employer intrigued? Well, sometimes too much mystery just leads to confusion:
"To be continued… [Name]"
Continued where? In what context? Are we talking about your work history or some existential journey? Either way, I’m left more puzzled than impressed.
8. The Mysteriously Spiritual
Finally, we have the applicants who bring a touch of the metaphysical to their sign-off:
"Blessings of abundance, [Name]"
While it’s nice to know someone is channeling positive vibes, it feels more suited to a meditation retreat than a job application.
Need to Recruit Candidates Who Can Actually Close an Email?
If your inbox is full of sign-offs that make you question the future of humanity, perhaps it’s time to outsource. At Coburg Banks, we find candidates who know how to conclude an email without leaving you wondering if you’re hiring an employee or a character from a novel.
So, if you need to recruit someone who’s more likely to sign off with a simple “Best regards” than a Shakespearian sonnet, get in touch. We’ll help you find the right people - the kind who know that less is sometimes more.
