The 50 Most Unbelievable Sickie Excuses People Have Tried to Get Away With

It’s that time of year again…

The temperature has dropped and the weather is windy, wet and miserable but we’re still not quite at that point where we can properly start celebrating Christmas yet.

It’s sickie season! (A time when people are more tempted than usual to pull a sickie).

So to celebrate (or lament) we’ve pulled together a list of the 50 most unbelievable (and pretty hilarious) sickie excuses we could find! Enjoy…

Unbelievable injuries.

Are you accident-prone? Reckon you could get away with any of these little gems..?

Sickie Excuse 1:

I got my fingers stuck in a bowling ball.

Sickie Excuse 2: I broke my little toe.

Sickie Excuse 3: My girlfriend threw a Wii remote at me and it’s chipped my tooth.

Sickie Excuse 4: I got bitten by a mosquito.

Sickie Excuse 5: I slept funny on my arms and now they’re asleep.

Sickie Excuse 6: I fell over in the shower and knocked myself out.

Sickie Excuse 7: I rolled out of bed and knocked myself out so I missed my alarm.

Sickie Excuse 8: I was in the loo and my legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.

Sickie Excuse 9: My girlfriend bit me in a bad place.

I’m not saying anything…

Animal madness!

I’d say 90% of the excuses you’ll find online somehow involve animals! Madness…

Sickie Excuse 10: My dog’s depressed.

Sickie Excuse 11:

A fox stole my car keys while I was asleep.

Sickie Excuse 12: I had a dream that my cat died and now I’m afraid to leave her.

Sickie Excuse 13: A chicken attacked my mother.

Sickie Excuse 14: There’s a crocodile in my house.

Sickie Excuse 15: My goldfish is ill.

Sickie Excuse 16: I have a new puppy and I need to play with him.

Sickie Excuse 17: There’s a bird in my house – I don’t know what to do.

Sickie Excuse 18: My cat has hiccups and I can’t leave her.

Wow. Those are some painfully paw excuses. (Sorry, I had to…)

Pure laziness.

Then there are those excuses that you are just never (ever) going to get away with…

Sickie Excuse 19: It’s too cold.

Sickie Excuse 20: I accidentally got on a plane.

Sickie Excuse 21: I can’t speak. (Hmm, that’s funny, because you’re speaking right now.)

Sickie Excuse 22: I thought it was Saturday today.

Sickie Excuse 23: Jack Duckworth died in Corrie last night and I’m in no fit state to face work.

Sickie Excuse 24: I have no clean clothes.

Sickie Excuse 25: I have a blocked nose.

Sickie Excuse 26: My football team lost last night.

Sickie Excuse 27: I went to get petrol but I couldn’t get the cap off because my hands are too moisturised, so I had to call my boyfriend to come and do it for me.

Someone’s going to be in trouble…

Just plain weird...

These excuses are so weird; they might actually be true…

Sickie Excuse 28:

A cow broke into my house and I’m waiting for the insurance man.

Sickie Excuse 29: A random man broke in last night and he’s asleep on my couch.

Sickie Excuse 30: We think the house is haunted so we’ve called a priest.

Sickie Excuse 31: I got bitten by a snake on my way to work.

Sickie Excuse 32: I have a peg stuck on my tongue.

Sickie Excuse 33: A swarm of bees surrounded my car so I couldn’t get in it.

Would you let these employees off?

Self-induced sickness!

Alcohol and drug-induced excuses are a complete and utter no-no (but they’re pretty funny)…

Sickie Excuse 34: I’m still at the party.

Sickie Excuse 35: I need a few hours to get the alcohol in my blood down to a legal level.

Sickie Excuse 36: I think I’ve been spiked.

Sickie Excuse 37: I’m pretty high right now. I’m kind of hallucinating.

Sickie Excuse 38: I don’t know where I am.

Sickie Excuse 39: I accidentally downed a rum and coke this morning, thinking it was just coke.

Sickie Excuse 40: Something at that party last night must have set my tummy off.

Work through the pain like everyone else does!

My absolute favourites.

And here are my ten all-time favourites.

The pure audacity, weirdness (and creativity) of some of these will almost make you want to let them off. (Or not…)

Sickie Excuse 41: It’s a secret. If I tell you, you’ll be in grave danger.

Sickie Excuse 42: There’s a “hit” out on me.

Sickie Excuse 43: My psychic told me not to.

Sickie Excuse 44: I can’t because of Brexit.

Sickie Excuse 45: My (soon-to-be-ex) wife is burning all of my possessions on the front lawn.

Sickie Excuse 46: My kid’s pulling a sickie – why can’t I?

Sickie Excuse 47: I climbed a tree to help a cat and now I’m stuck.

Sickie Excuse 48: Someone stole all my shoes.

Sickie Excuse 49: I’m stuck under the bed.

Sickie Excuse 50: It’s my unbirthday!

Pure brilliance!

Reckon they got away with it?

Let’s be honest, probably not.

Most of these excuses are a little bit too far-fetched for even the most compassionate of bosses.

Recruiter Pro Tip We live in a world where taking the occasional “sick day” is often actually frowned upon. That probably has to do with the fact that some people tend to take advantage… However, it is absolutely essential that when you’re genuinely ill, you take some time off to recuperate. Dragging yourself into work with an awful lurgy will only…

Make you feel worse.
Make other people ill.
Make other people angry with you (because you made them ill).

Click here to find out why you really, absolutely and definitely should take a sick day (when you’re actually ill).

If you’d like to read more funny posts like this one – click here – to subscribe to this blog. We’ll pop across a quick weekly email with our latest rib-tickler!

Need more inspiration?

If you’re thinking of pulling a sickie, check out these great (hilarious) articles for more weird and wonderful excuses that you should definitely (not) be using…

Good luck.